It has been almost a year since I last posted.
I was wondering the other day why I hadn’t gone on my blog in forever, and then I visited my page and thought ‘Oh, that’s why’.
Everything. On. My. Site. Makes. Me. Want. To. Jump. Out. A. Window.
And the worst part is: I have no idea how to change it.
I’m not really sure what I was thinking when I decided to make the link to my site “Hyello.wordpress.com”, or to write horrible puns (and then give credit to my mom for them, because that just makes it 10x better), or use Eminem lyrics for a blog post title. I was fourteen when I made this page, it was a dark time
Fourteen and below are basically the years of my life I have been trying to bury. I’ve made my friends vow to never mention those years and I’ve tried to hide any evidence that they even occured, but every time I see old pictures of me making duck lips at my Ipod or screenshots of depressing quotes I found off Instagram, I’m thrown into a cringe attack that lasts about 2 minutes and usually consists of me muttering “why did I do that?”, or “why am I like this?”.
Unfortunately, to make matters even worse, I’m surprisingly horrible with technology and I don’t have the slightest clue how to use wordpress. Therefore, I’m unable to bury my past posts that make me want to hide in my room for the rest of my life. If I could burn them, along with the 1.902 black and white selfies I have of myself looking deeply into my Ipod camera, I would.
But I also have this strange feeling that I should leave them up. I mean, being awkward, cringey, and embarrassing are all kind of part of the territory of being a teen. Maybe reading my posts will bring comfort to incoming teens. Maybe they’ll see them and think to themselves ‘well, if this total loser can make it through being a teenager, maybe there’s hope for me too!”.
And at the end of the day, I think that’s worth it.
(P.s- if anybody’s able to tell me how to make my posts private so that only people who follow my page can see them, that’d be greatly appreciated. I’m not sure everybody on this site wants to read my little rants. Thanks!)